Motherhood at 50 without egg donation. Really? | oliviasview

On the cover of the Guardian Weekend magazine today is a picture of a naked, pregnant woman. ?It?s in profile with hands covering her nipples, very tasteful, very wonderful. ?The miracle of birth is clearly near. ?The woman is apparently 51 years old.

Inside the mag is a long article by Naomi Gryn who became pregnant with twins (one subsequently died in utero) following a last ditch attempt at pregnancy with frozen embryos created at a Barcelona clinic when she was 50. ? There is no mention that egg donation was any part of the process. ?Agnes Mayall, another 50 year old woman quoted in the article admits to ?technical assistance? in helping with her pregnancy, baby due any day now.

And yet the article quotes statistics that seem to be widely accepted, that by age 44 there is only a 5 per cent chance of a woman conceiving using her own eggs. ?Professor Brian Dale, director of the Centro Fecondazione Assistita in Italy is apparently used to working with older women and favours using a women?s own eggs whenever possible. ?But even he is quoted as saying, ?The oldest lady I remember getting pregnant with her own eggs was 46. ?But most people who come to us aged over 45 are already psychologically primed to go on the egg donor programme.? ?So what do we make of Naomi and Agnes?s pregnancies then? ?Egg donation or not? ?And if so, does it matter?

Well it matters for at least two reasons. ?Not admitting to needing help from an egg donor continues the myth that pregnancy with a woman?s own eggs remains possible in her late forties and early fifties when for the vast majority of women this is just not true. ?Many women, in fact, are unable to conceive with their own eggs in their early forties and sometimes late thirties. ?The fastest growing group of new families to join DC Network are couples who conceived their first child in their mid to late thirties without help and then find that a second child a couple of years later is not possible without an egg donor. ?Women need to understand that looking and feeling young on the outside does not mean that their eggs are not ageing on the inside and that IVF is not a magic wand that can be waved over their abdomen to create a pregnancy at any time of their choosing.

The other reason why it matters that egg donation is acknowledged is because children/young people/adults created this way should not be deceived about their genetic origins. ?They should not be misled into believing that their mother?s genetic and medical history is part of their inheritance. ?And for all the reasons that put honesty, integrity and trust at the heart of good family relationships they should not have this information withheld from them.

There is no shame about needing egg (or sperm) donation to help with family formation. ?Why not be up front and proud about it and at the same time help women (and their partners) to be realistic about the chances of conceiving for the first time without donor help after about 44. ?That, and being honest with their kids. ? It would save a lot of heartache.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/nov/09/having-first-baby-at-51 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? See also Celebrities and Egg Donation www.oliviasview.com 11th December 2011

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Co-founder and now Practice Consultant at Donor Conception Network. Mother to two donor conceived adults and a son conceived without help in my first marriage.

Source: http://oliviasview.wordpress.com/2012/11/10/motherhood-at-50-without-egg-donation-really/

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